I don't know anything about LJ. So I'll post the first chappy of my fanfic. Javey.

I Don’t Think You’ll Make It

Chapter 1: Counting the Seconds

Seven months, thirteen days, twenty-nine minutes, and forty-seven... make that forty-eight seconds since Hunter died, Jade fell in love with him, and life in general collapsed, turning Jade into corpse.

Jade was still haunted by Hunter – his music, his face, his presence – a man that he had never loved while he had been alive.  In life, Hunter had been a trivial fragment of his world, a young man who was just as eager to make love as he was.  Hunter was warm and caring, falling in love with Jade at first sight, believing that Jade was in love as well.  Jade liked Hunter well enough, and liked him better each time he saw him fall and bruise.  But not love.  Never love.

It’s not that he took the people around him for granted, because Jade was truly unable to love anyone if they were alive.  He had lived with parents for seventeen years, a stranger to them, a boy whom they fed and clothed and cried over, a boy who would never return the same feelings.  Jade had accepted this living arrangement, for all of those years, until his parents drowned on a cruise that they had not invited him to.

After hearing the news of their deaths, Jade started to love them the way he should have since the time he was born.  He wanted his parents there with him, to console him in his most desperate moods and make the world go away when it hurt too badly.  He wanted to be able to tell know them, to understand them, to say what he had never said to them before: “I love you.”

It nearly destroyed him.

The pain and want that he had experienced in regard to his parents was magnified a thousandfold when Hunter had died, and nearly killed him.  He lusted for Hunter, cried for Hunter, changed himself for Hunter, loved Hunter with every fibre of his being. 

And by then Hunter was a dead man, a pile of decaying flesh and bones in a satin lined coffin, six feet under.

As much as Jade liked Hunter in that stage of his “life,” he had never wanted it to turn out that way.  It was completely an accident.  An accident that had occurred because of Jade’s lack of normal emotion.


Hunter gingerly pulled out of Jade, bushing a light kiss against his lips which quickly deepened.  Their limbs were still tangled underneath those blood-red sheets, and they were still slick with sweat from their recent actions.  It seemed as if in that moment, nothing could wrench apart those perfectly entwined bodies, those graceful and well matched curves and contours, but there was one thing that could.

Hunter slowly pulled away from Jade’s lips, unwilling to break the contact but so intent upon doing so.  Hands still embedded in his lover’s hair, his bright blue eyed twinkled and a small smile graced his handsome features.  He sat up slightly, nervously running a hand trough his short bleached blond hair.

They had been together for about nine months, in which time Hunter was convinced that he had found the one who he would share the rest of his life with.  He wanted Jade to know that he was truly loved.  Words of love tainted with lust had been exchanged before, but this would be different.  These words would be crystal clear and as pure as snow.

Jade looked up with what Hunter considered to beautiful and expectant eyes.  He felt it in his bones: ‘Jade loves me back.’

“Jade,” he said with the same unfaltering smile, “You may not know this, but ever since I met you, I’ve needed to say this.  Jade – I love you.  I love you more than anything in this world and I hope that you love me too.  When I first laid eyes on you, I was sure that you and me would be together forever.”

Hunter elated by his pronouncement and still smiling brought his body back down to Jade’s and planted a breath-stealing kiss on his angel’s lips, only to find them catatonic – unmoving and unresponsive.

Hunter quickly pulled away, confused; he had wanted to illicit a much different reply from Jade.  He looked down and found that Jade’s eyes were cold and distant, and that Jade was unhappy.

“I don’t really love you.” Those were the whispered words that broke Hunter’s heart.  “I don’t love you at all.”  And those were the words that pushed him over the edge.

Hunter rose from the bed, dreams torn and eyes tearing.  A few hysterical sobs escaped from his lips as he desperately pulled on his clothes and searched for his car keys; Jade lay on the bed, quietly watching the effect that his words had had on this man, half-wondering what events would follow this confession.

Hunter looked back to Jade, still unclothed beneath the sheets of their bed and violently screamed, “I hate you, you son-of-a-bitch!  I hope you burn in hell for what you did to me cock-sucker,” and when this had no effect on Jade, he added, “you are so fucking unworthy of anyone’s love.  I’ve wasted the last nine months on your sorry ass, and I regret every minute of it.  I hope no one ever makes the same mistake I did, cunt-licking mother fucker!”

With that, he ran out of the apartment, and into a fatal car crash. 

Jade’s last glimpse of his face when he was alive: tear stained and heart broken, all because of him.  Jade’s last glimpse of his face when he was dead: his heart fluttered, his stomach churned, and his legs turned to jelly.

He was in love with Hunter, who was now just a pile of decomposing molecules in a box.


Jade’s most painful memory was of that night, the night when Hunter had died, causing Jade to fall in love with him, an impossible feat. 

Jade loved him but felt pathetic. He had no contact with the outside world because he had no friends, and the familiarity of his own hand sliding down his member had become disconcerting.  He need to leave, go out and find an easy fuck, and then carry on and pine away for Hunter.

“Besides,” he said to himself, grabbing his sweater and making his way out of the apartment, “Hunter would have wanted me to move on.”

This of course was a lie, but sometimes one must lie for their own sanity and logical reasoning.

Jade quickly walked down the stairs of the building and into the autumn sunshine.  The temperature was cool for Berkeley, California, around 50 degrees.  Coincidentally, this was Jade’s favorite weather.

He slowly walked in a random direction, looking for the perfect specimen that he would take.  Jade could probably take anyone if he wanted to.  He was lean and slightly muscular, with lightly tanned skin and several colorful tattoos decorating his upper arms.  Jade had pale brown hair, combed to the side and partially dyed blond, thin pretty lips, and a cute upturned nose.  The most beautiful of his features were his eyes – big brown orbs that you could loose yourself in, that could make you his slave in an instant.

As Jade wandered, he found himself in the park, fallen leaves littering the ground.  In front of him was a shorter man with gorgeous long black hair whose hips swayed with each step, almost begging his to come and violate this strangers body.

‘This could be the one,’ Jade thought, excited for the first time in a long time.  ‘If only he would turn around and then I could see – ‘

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted as the man in front of his tripped over seemingly nothing, and crashed hard on the ground.  Jade was left transfixed.  In pain, the man looked so beautiful from behind.

This cemented the thought in his mind: ‘He will be mine.’

“Excuse me,” he cautiously asked as he sidled up to the man.  “Can I be of any assistance?”




It sucks. Have fun.

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